Guest Blog-Not Super Just Mom

24 Jun

A brand new day means a brand new blogger! Today’s post is from Miranda at Not Super Just Mom and let me tell you she is hilarious! I recently fell in love with her and her blog and of course that cute little boy she has (oh and her dog which you will see in a minute). Please take a moment and visit her blog! You will not be disappointed one bit!

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Hi y’all!  A huge thanks to Torie (who may not know exactly what she’s done by unleashing my crazy on y’all) for having me!  I’m so excited to be here!  I hope you don’t mind if I overuse the exclamation point, parentheses, run-on sentences and ALL CAPS! (As an English teacher, I take full creative license in employing all of the above devices.)

Torie gave me free reign.  She said I could talk about anything.  Anything is a lot of stuff.  Like, a LOT of stuff.  And then, because they are amazing, my child and my dog gave me the PERFECT topic.

Dogs and babies are basically the same.

This is my son:

This is my dog:

Do you see the resemblance?  Well, you should.  Look at the curls. And the happy smiles.

When we brought Annie (the dog) home, we joked about how she was our training for having a baby. If we could keep her alive, we’d know we were capable of being parents.  That’s pretty much what we high fived about on Joshua’s first birthday.  We’d kept him alive for an entire year.  Cool. We can do this.

Here are just some of the ways children and dogs are similar:

1.  They both need to be wherever you are at all times.

Annie is the ultimate pack animal.  She wants to be with us.  She NEEDS her people to be together.  She will follow you ANYWHERE, even to the bathroom when you are trying to do your business.  She curls up on the rug at our feet and rests her head on our dirty laundry and just seems content to be hanging out in the bathroom with us.

Joshua does the same thing. Except he doesn’t curl up on the rug at my feet and lay his head on my dirty laundry. He throws the dirty laundry in the trash can and rips the magazines to pieces and opens and shuts the cabinet doors and tries to climb into the bathtub and then bangs on the bathroom door to see what kind of sound it makes.

But we’re all in the bathroom together.  I honestly can’t remember the last time I went to the bathroom alone.  And if I am physically IN the bathroom alone, one of them is outside the bathroom door trying desperately to get in.

2. They throw up at inopportune times. And in the worst possible places. And cleaning it up should be an Olympic sport.

If Annie is going to throw up, you can guarantee that 1) it won’t just happen once, 2) it WILL be on one of the few carpeted areas of our house, and 3) it will not occur at a convenient time. Ever.

If Joshua is going to throw up, you can guarantee that 1) it probably won’t happen once, 2) it will be on a hard to clean surface or your clothes, and 3) it will not occur at a convenient time. Ever.

While cleaning up the dog vomit you’ll find that you’re holding a baby on one hip to keep him out of the mess while trying to scrub it out of the FIVE spots on the living room rug while the dog lays down in front of the fire place on the cool, hardwood floor with the look of a co-ed who attended the most AWESOME FRAT PARTY EVER the night before.  (In a word, miserable.)  And then as soon as you get the vomit cleaned up, and you put the baby down, the dog will vomit again. On the rug.

While cleaning up the baby vomit you’ll find that you are holding the baby (who is inconsolable and vomiting down your arm) while also trying to keep the dog out of the vomit on the furniture (because there is something revolting about her own but delicious about everyone else’s ::shudder::) while also figuring out how to clean the vomit off of the furniture because this is the ONE cushion in the ENTIRE set that does NOT come off.  So it’s basically like he just puked on the rug.

See? See the similarities??

3. Neither of them seem to understand the word “No,” yet both compel me to say it a million times a day.

Joshua swats at the dog. She chases him for food.  If I say “no” to either of them, neither of them seems to understand.  If I go over to intervene, they both think I’m playing.  If I say “No” again the dog looks at me funny and Joshua cries.  If I say “it’s okay” because he’s crying, the dog thinks I mean it’s okay to go after his crackers or Cheerios again and he thinks it’s okay to swat the dog.  But really, I just want him to know that he doesn’t need to cry.  So then he gives the dog a cracker or Cheerio and stops crying and we’re back to square one.

4. They both make me incredibly happy with their incredibly awkward lovin’.

Joshua’s version of “giving kisses” very often resembles having my face eaten by a toothy, slobbery monster.  He grabs the back of my head and opens his mouth wide and pulls my face to his face and slobbers all over me while giving me the sweetest, wettest “kisses” ever.  And then he smiles and laughs at me and does it all over again because that’s how he says “I love you.” And I smile and laugh and smooch on my slobbery toddler because I love him, too.

Annie gives “hugs” by coming up to you when you’re sitting down and putting her head in your lap. Or if you’re sitting on the floor, she’ll come up and put her head on your shoulder.  So you’re getting a hug by something with no arms.  It’s like wrapping your head around someone else’s head. But her tail is wagging a million miles an hour, so I know she’s happy and she’s saying “THANK YOU FOR LETTING HIM GIVE ME A CHEERIO!” Or she licks my feet.  Which grosses me out.  But I understand that in dog language, she’s saying “I love you.” I love you, too, Annie.  I love you, too.

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P.S. This week I am running a free shipping special on all my bows and clips (excluding adult headbands) for the readers. Head over to On Top Baby Bows and when checking out leave me a message with the code word “guestblog” to get the free shipping!!

Also, please visit here for some important information!

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17 Responses to “Guest Blog-Not Super Just Mom”

  1. Mungee's Ma June 24, 2010 at 9:59 am #

    Miranda, that’s hilarious!

  2. justine June 24, 2010 at 10:18 am #

    oh. em. gee. that is so awesome!!! duke and bella are our furbaby/baby combo and i almost peed my pants laughing because this is so true!!!

    i love love love it. and i especially love that they look so much like each other! hahaha. those pics are priceless!

    • Miranda June 24, 2010 at 10:38 am #

      I didn’t even realize how much they DO look alike in those pics, but LOL! They really do! Hilarious!

      Thanks for reading! Glad you enjoyed it!

  3. LeeAnn June 24, 2010 at 12:03 pm #

    Great post! Too funny! I never realized how alike dogs and babies are. LOL

    • Miranda June 24, 2010 at 1:26 pm #

      Think about it!! Potty training/house breaking?

      The crate? The crib?

  4. Grace @ Arms Wide Open June 24, 2010 at 12:52 pm #

    so so so true. they are weirdly similar aren’t they!

    • Miranda June 24, 2010 at 1:27 pm #

      Yes. It’s weird. And cute. And weird.

  5. Jennifer @ Life with the lebedas June 24, 2010 at 3:07 pm #

    Your so funny. I thought I recognized that cute little boy!

    • Miranda June 24, 2010 at 5:27 pm #

      Thanks! Glad you liked the post!

  6. Jenn Collins June 24, 2010 at 3:14 pm #

    Hilarious! I love the resemblance in the photos, too. There’s nothing in the world like the love of a dog or a baby.

    • Miranda June 24, 2010 at 5:28 pm #

      True. Seeing the happiness on both of their faces makes me stabby when I think about how mean people can be. Those people are just heartless. I mean, LOOK AT THOSE FACES!!

  7. ksluiter June 24, 2010 at 4:15 pm #

    Farking hilarious as always, my friend. still chuckling about the vomit. it’s the same way with a cat. oh boy.

    • Miranda June 24, 2010 at 5:28 pm #

      Oh, we used to have a cat, too. He didn’t like Joshua when Joshua couldn’t even roll over. So he had to go. He was kind of an a-hole. But cat puke? OMG.

  8. Tammy June 26, 2010 at 1:29 pm #

    I’m still laughing, hilarious post!! Being a parent of both kids and fur-babies (both feline & canine variety), I can totally relate.

    • Miranda June 27, 2010 at 8:20 am #

      So glad you enjoyed the post!

Trackbacks/Pingbacks

  1. Tweets that mention Guest Blog-Not Super Just Mom « Life with Rylie -- Topsy.com - June 25, 2010

    […] This post was mentioned on Twitter by Jessica , Miranda. Miranda said: Did you see? I'm at Life with Rylie today http://bit.ly/bmwU5P (@ontopbabybows) […]

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